"I don´t need no doctor..."

"All I need is..."

 

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.